10 years ago, I closed a door in my life....
My then-husband and I decided to get divorced. I’d like to blame it all on him, but there were two of us doing that dance. He was a person with expectations, arrogance, and insecurities and so was I. Unfortunately, our fears and insecurities crashed against each other like jagged rocks in a rock tumbler, tumbling, scratching, cracking, irritating each other over and over and over…. Well, you get the picture.
Things were bad years before I moved out, but I kept telling myself, I’m being unrealistic, selfish, or oversensitive.
I did therapy, I journaled, I filled out personality quizzes online, I did divinatory work, basically, I did anything I thought that would help me better accept that life (at that time, I had yet to be introduced to essential oils; how would my life have been different if I’d had my EO arsenal?!?!?!). And finally, I had a moment of clarity.
On Thanksgiving Day, 2010 I found myself sobbing. Through my tears, I was trying to decide if I wanted to fish out, and attempt to cook, the turkey that he’d thrown in the trash in a fit of rage.
And that is when I decided, screw the turkey, I’m done (no pun intended….).
I’d like to say that moment of clarity just appeared out of the blue, but that was far from the case. I had help to get my head in a place where I could see my situation and myself unambiguously. My sharp and clear sense of what to do came from the serendipitous concurrence of three different modalities that reinforced each other just when I needed them.
I’d seen a Reiki practitioner who worked on me energetically. Leaving her place, I felt emotionally freer (and my back hurt less, too!) than I had in years.
That session resonated with some yoga practice I’d begun doing every day that also targeted emotional release. I’d sometimes end the series of asanas with tears coursing down my face, feeling my mind and soul cleansed and balanced.
But what sent me around the bend to my moment of calm awareness was that I had begun seeing a hypnotherapist. She is fabulous and not only worked with me in her office, but created incredibly rich, evocative meditation recordings that I could listen to before bed, or in the mornings before facing the day, or well, anytime, really.*
These three methods of achieving serenity and clarity gave me the emotional strength and confidence to leave my marriage of twelve years. I have never second guessed my decision—which for a Libra, is HUGE—and have never looked back.
I knew, I really knew
that I had made the correct choice.
I can’t recommend enough the power of just learning to listen to one’s own innate wisdom. I just needed help to silence the noise of day-to-day living, emotional turmoil, societal expectations and my own doubts and insecurities.
Yoga helped me to quiet my mind, Reiki, to connect with my own healing power, and hypnotherapy, to focus on listening to that quiet, knowing voice within.
*That fabulous hypnotherapist is Denise Lee, CHt
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